Transcript

Show Intro

__ electronic instrumental music plays underneath.

Michael: Hi, I’m Michael John Improta—a New York Neo-Futurist. While we’re slowly bringing back our on-going, ever-changing show The Infinite Wrench, we wanted to keep making art just for your ears. And so Hit Play continues! 

If you’re already a fan of The New York Neo-Futurists, or any of our sibling companies, hello! We can’t wait to have a coffee with you. If this is totally new to you—welcome to it!

We make art by four rules: We are who we are, we’re doing what we’re doing, we are where we are, and the time is now. Simply put: we tell stories, and those stories are our own. Everything that you hear is actually happening. So if we tell you we're recording this intro while sitting down at our piano, ummm we’re really doing that! Like I am right now. 

Theme fades as Michael plays the piano for a moment. Then the theme fades back up.

Some of the plays in this episode may contain sensitive topics. For more specific content warnings, check the timecodes in the show notes.

All of the plays in this episode are some sort of variant of the plays in our previous episode. So if you wanna see how we chose to mess with those plays, check out that episode first. 

Micahel: And now, Jacquelyn will Run the Numbers!

Jacquelyn: Hi, I’m Jacquelyn, a New York Neo-Futurist alum. 

In this episode we’re bringing you six new plays. This week’s cast is Christopher Borg, Michael John Improta, Shelton Lindsay, and me--Jacquelyn Landgraf. 

That brings us to 267 audio experiments on Hit Play. Enjoy!

Music winds down.

Play 1: A dirge for To-Do's not done, and a hope for Autumn (2:04)

Anthony: A dirge for To-Do's not done, and a hope for Autumn. GO!

Contemplative electric guitar 

Borg: I always want more beach time than I ever get.

Shelton: I wanted to spend like three weeks camping in a state park 

Michael: more beach, more beach, more beach

Jacquelyn: I wanted to get post pandemic fit,  and I really wanted to finish writing a thing and start writing that other thing

Shelton: Write that book

Michael: Finish writing that podcast script

Jacquelyn:  I probably had the time and could have accomplished all the things and more if I were a stricter and more disciplined person 

Borg: you have this finite number of weekends to fit in the fun and the trips and the brunches and the picnics and the games and the holidays and the pool parties.

Jacquelyn:  and If I didn't read so many think pieces

Shelton: But Work came back, and I needed to try and make money

Jacquelyn:  or play the NY Times crossword 

Michael: way way too much work

Jacquelyn:  or lie in bed for a extra hour thinking about what my dreams meant 

Borg: Americans have this miniscule amount of time they are allowed to take holidays.  

Jacquelyn: ugh Capitalism…

Shelton: I mean if I was a billionaire I would be having a cute time all the time.

Michael: I typically make more money in the summer facilitating drunk Sunny memories for others. it’s nice money. It’s also a front row seat to what I miss.

Borg: The French START with 6 weeks of vacation - for EVERYONE. Here we are lucky to have 3 weeks. If you even have the type of job that provides paid time off.

Michael: When summer ends My work slows down, which I look forward too. 

Shelton: i love the passage of time, i love the seasons,I love watching everything change: 

Borg: I love the seasons because I grew up with them

Shelton: if i could freeze time I think I would do it in early fall. long days, cold nights, beautiful trees.

Michael:  I just want to wear my fall clothes all year,

Borg: fall makes me sad, I could be happy if we just lived between May and September all year long. 

Jacquelyn:  I read a book recently by  Byung-Chul Han about rituals and rites and time's passage. A quote was "...our immemorial rites are in Time what dwellings are in space. For it is well that the years should not seem to wear us away and disperse us like a handful of sand and disperse us; rather they should fulfill us. Time should be a building up." I want to foster meaningful new rituals with new and old friends. And get post-pandemic hot.

Borg: I want the winds of fall to propel me - I want to focus on forward movement - out of the pandemic and into more acting work and more projects that give me joy.

Shelton: I want access to creating art, great budgets, and amazing opportunities.

Michael:  I want to continue making each next fall of my foot, whether on stone, or leaf, or sand, or snow. a step in the right direction, 

Play 2: Nighttime Mating Calls of Fire Island (5:24)

Anthony: Nighttime Mating Calls of Fire Island. GO!

Nighttime soundscape. Cicadas, and the like. 

A Neo calls out: Yas!

Another Neo calls out: Yas!

Then, a crescendo of Neos calling out “Yaass!” 

Play 3: Fall in America (6:10)

Classic jazz nightclub tune

Jacquelyn: Hi,  I’m Jacquelyn Landgraf, Neo-Futurist, and host of Fresh Hair. Not “Fresh Air,” that’s something else, this is Fresh Hair and it’s quite different. 

Today I’m talking with Neo-Futurist Shelton Lindsay, in order to create a variant of his play, Fall in America, from the previous Hit Play episode. Shelton, thank you for joining me. 

Music fades to silence

Shelton over the phone: It is so lovely to be here, thank you for having me. 

Jacquelyn: Now, it was I who proposed, wisely or not, that the theme of this entire podcast episode is “Variant,” alá the Delta variant which is currently running rampant through the world. Now, explain to me in your understanding--what IS the Delta variant? What actually is it?

Shelton: So as far as I understand, it’s a mutation of the virus--uh, SARS-Covid 19, which means it’s just like a change in how the protein structure of the virus adheres to the cell structure? Which makes it less susceptible to--or not susceptible to the vaccines that we have because it has a different binding structure. And so they can’t get zipped up by the virus and thus block the transmission of illness. So it is just a more robust, harder to contain, strain of the existing illness rather than its own unique virus.

Jacquelyn: Right, right--that’s an excellent explanation, are you a doctor?

Shelton: No, I just love science! I think that science is cool. Um, I leave it in the hands of the scientists to tell me what is accurate and I am just an avid fanboy.

Jacquelyn: Did you have a science background growing up? Were your parents scientists?

Shelton: Ah, no. 

Jacquelyn: That’s interesting. So turning to the other side of the brain. Thinking about this Variant idea as a creative prompt, and particularly for your play--Fall in America--where does your mind go?

Shelton: Ooh, I think variant is such an interesting concept in poetry and language and musicality because we’re constantly stealing and borrowing from each other. And for instance, for Fall in America, I wrote a lot of this by just wanting to be with words that sound like each other. That’s something I find very soothing. It felt like stealing. It felt like I was stealing concepts from language. I was like, what do I think, what’s my idea, but then how can I craft my own opinions inside this container of words of people who have made them before me. 

Jacquelyn: Hmm. And in fact I’d like to turn now, to your play. Listeners, what you are about to hear are the first lines of my guest Shelton Lindsay’s Fall in America:

Shelton from last week’s play: Lazy hazy America go crazy

Summer days die

as democracy pushes up its daisies

Road map to history gettin all Tracy 

Stuck in'a dark drama ala Scorsese

If this year was a meal, 

it’s a tragedy Caprese--

Jacquelyn cutting on top of the clip: I love that, “if this year was a meal, it’s a tragedy Caprese.” Can you expand? What part of the year was the tomato/the mozzarella, the basil?

Shelton: I would say Trump is the tomato. He’s the juicy hilarious fruit--

Jacquelyn: Okay, what about the mozzarella?

Shelton: I would say that that’s White Nationalism in America.

Jacquelyn: And the basil?

Shelton: Environmental degredation. 

Jacquelyn: Okay. I mean, if fact, you do go on, to say, and I’m quoting:

Cuz Baby, lately, everything innately

feels the opposite of mother fuckin stately

Sedate me greatly for nothin’s feeling sagely 

trying to break the waves of this storm

Holding up an unstringed ukulele.

Hear, hear. That reminds me that my mother bought me a beautiful ukulele this year, from Hawaii. She had it shipped. And I’ve barely touched it. There’s so many things. So many things I haven’t done, Shelton. Do you play the ukelele?

Shelton: No.

Jacquelyn: Oh, I was hoping you--I was hoping we could do something with the ukulele here. Would you lead me through something? Something autumnal?

Shelton: Well, I’m going to play the grass next to where I’m standing. I can hear it whispering near me. Maybe we can play a fall song together.  

Jacquelyn: Okay. Listeners, if you’re just joining us this is my guest Shelton Lindsay, and I’m Jacquelyn Landgraf. This is Fresh Hair. And we’re about to play an autumnal song on the ukelele and grass. 

Jacquelyn simply strums the ukulele. They make up a song together: 

An acorn

An acorn

Are there any acorns

Acorns

Acorns

Acorns on the ground

Squirrels eating acorns

Where are all the acorns

They're in the squirrel's mouth

Where are all the acorns

Underneath the ground 

Jacquelyn: Thank you. That felt nice. Let’s hear another part of your play. Listeners, if you’re just joining us, welcome to Fresh Hair. What you are about to hear is another part of Shelton Lindsay’s play, Fall in America. The first and only voice you will hear is that of my guest, Shelton Lindsay. 

Shelton: They say they live

before their livers formed

subjection of the living

not about nascent lifeforms

publicans) stripping power from utureses 

Like their shuckin ears of corn.

We need to reform or transform

(Frankly we need new political platforms)

To bring justice to this world 

Protecting the rights of all life forms. 

Jacquelyn: You wrote that, what, 2 weeks ago? Is that correct?

Shelton: Yes, that is. 

Jacquelyn: What’s it like hearing that back? Do you feel it has aged well? Is there anything you would change?

Shelton: No? I think that it spoke to how I felt in the moment. That’s one of the things I love about the Neo-Futurist artform is that it allows me the space to write something for the time and the moment I am feeling. And it’s interesting because in a podcast it lives on in perpetuity whereas in our stage show it just disappears the moment we’re done with it. So there's a different relationship to permanence with this form. But I think it speaks to how I was feeling at the time. 

Jacquelyn: Interesting. Well, thank you for explaining that distinction. This piece ends with a prayer.

Shelton: It does.

Jacquelyn: Yet you describe yourself as, and I quote, “a lifelong pagan heathen.”

Shelton: Ya my parents raised me to believe in the power of nature. And nothing after we died. And that was the beginning of a lifelong love of paganism. And I’m grateful to them for that because trees are gods, and why think otherwise?

Jacquelyn: Now see, I grew up Catholic, I went to 12 years of Catholic school, I used to pray a lot, now, not so much. My favorite prayer is the Prayer of Saint Francis, do you know it? I recommend it. I really liked your prayer. I memorized it. I’m wondering if it would be ok---can we pray it together?

Shelton: I would love that.

Jacquelyn: And I’m wondering, I really wanted to get this song in somewhere, can I put a song on in the background? I think it will sound nice. If it doesn’t, listeners, please feel free to reach out with your thoughts.

Shelton: I’d love to hear it set to music, thank you.

Jacquelyn: Ok, thank you. 

Try to Remember… plays softly in the background

Both speak this on their own time, as a prayer:

Jacquelyn and Shetlon: I pray the seasons come again

That the fall down isn’t long

That nothing withers in the winter

And spring brings on more song

we are turning in the turning 

it all spins out alright 

in the chaos of existence be the stalagmite holding tight.

this year is not the ending 

hope will never die

sing on my faerie family

send your dreams into the sky.

Try to Remember continues and underscores

Jacquelyn: Now this is making me wonder if we could ask the listeners to join us, or say out loud now what they want as we transition into a new season, or maybe they’ll just move their mouths along and pretend they know a prayer. Or maybe they can take this opportunity to make some sound, and stretch. Or, many things can feel like a prayer, maybe they’d like to make an omelet. I’m Jacquelyn Landgraf, this is Fresh Hair. I’d like to thank my guest Shelton Lindsay, for ushering us into Fall in America.

They pray again, the music fades into birds chirping + the sound equivalent of his faerie family sending dreams into the sky...celeste, tinkles….louder...up to the sky….

Jacquelyn, Shelton, Borg: I pray the seasons come again

That the fall down isn’t long

That nothing withers in the winter

And spring brings on more song

we are turning in the turning 

it all spins out alright 

in the chaos of existence be the stalagmite holding tight.

this year is not the ending 

hope will never die

sing on my faerie family

send your dreams into the sky.

Play 4: Borg Speaks Out on Hit Play (16:40)

Name: Title. GO!

Play 5: Was I funny; or litigating an old joke through voice memos to find out if it's at all funny or not (22:29)

Jacquelyn: Hey michael I thought that i would just come into my linen closet and record myself listening to your voice memo

Michael:  yea thats perfect

Jacquelyn: here’s me opening your voice memo so that i can react to it, it’s called was i funny

ill react to it in real time

Michael: hey jacq, i’m just gonna tell you a joke and i'd love to know if you find it funny or not, it’s a joke i've told a lot over the years, and i'd love to know what you think

“why do women make really bad carpenters”

Jacquelyn: why

Michael:  because they've been lied to about how big 6 inches is their whole life

Jacquelyn: (laughs)i like it two thumbs up i actually dont think ive heard that joke before

Michael: oh, i wasn't expecting you to like it  

Jacquelyn: shocking, its a good joke, it’s subversive, its a pro women joke i feel, even though its like why can't we do something, this is why because the man

Michael: that's what mny thinking was too

Jacquelyn: its getting to a true point, and probably if many women were gonna build a 6 foot desk they'd end up with a 5 foot desk

Michael:  which is a whole foot less useful

Jacquelyn: hashtag the patriarchy, funny keep telling it

Michael: ok im still not sure i will]

Jacquelyn: i feel you're in the clear

Play 6: The Other Side (24:10)

Shelton: The Other Side. GO!

Contemplative electric swells

Shelton: so Borg got stabbed in the dick by a wasp. 

ew

But what if it was a gay wasp and it just wanted to fuck a dick?

like borg was all upset about this wasp 'attacking' him, especially as it seemed to be a violation of his recently found love of nudity but what if this wasp was just like so turned on by borg that it decided to die to penetrate him?

His laugh, his full smile, how he stands like drama incarnate, I mean there is so much to swoon over when it comes to the borg mystery. 

I mean did anyone ask the wasp what it wanted?

It must be hard to be in that field of naked men. and see so many free-flowing cocks around your face and not be tempted to hang out with one. I mean if this wasp is anything like me, it would have been drooling thanks to all the options. I wonder how many dicks the wasp flew around before deciding that Borg's cock was the cock it wanted to plant its stinger in. 

Borg should feel blessed!

a moment of unity, of nature reaching out and saying to borg, BORG you are one of us, except this sting as the threshold of transformation into a wild naked mountain man you have always been. 

An engorged swelling of sexual union between man and nature. between human and insect between the past and the future. 

I don't know, I just hope that this is true, because once I got bit on the dick by a tick and I'd love to think that was my threshold moment when I became a man in union with nature!

Flight of the bees.

TO nature! To union, to penetration with the divine body of gaia through her insectoid children! 

Show Outro

__ electronic instrumental music plays underneath.

Michael: Thanks for Hitting Play and then listening to Hit Play. If you liked what you heard, subscribe to the show and tell a friend! If you want to support the New York Neo-Futurists in other ways, consider making a donation at nynf.org, or joining our Patreon–Patreon.com/NYNF. 

This episode featured work by Jacquelyn Landgraf, Christopher Borg, Shelton Lindsay, and me--Michael John Improta. 

Our logo was designed by Shelton Lindsay. And our sound is designed by Anthony Sertel Dean. Hit Play is produced by Anthony Sertel Dean, Julia Melfi, and me. Take Care!

Music fades out!