Transcript

Show Intro

Anthony: It'll start with the music 

electronic instrumental music plays underneath.

Anthony: and then go dodododo, I don't know which actually theme version variation we'll do. Um, okay. This let's keep this in and I'll, I'll say, okay. And now the drums come in. 

Boom-boom-boom-ca, and then maybe a keyboard sound comes in and goes “ding”. And then “ding”. But before the melody comes in, I'll come in and say, 68 best of 2021.

All: Hi, I’m Annie, Anthony, Hilary, Julia, Michael, Rob -- We’re New York Neo-Futurists! 

Annie: Our live show is back, but we just can’t stop making art for your ears so Hit Play continues!

Anthony: If you’re already a fan of The New York Neo-Futurists, or any of our sibling companies, hello! 

Hilary: We can’t wait to sip hot chocolate on a snowy park walk with you.

Julia: If this is totally new to you— welcome to it!

Michael I: We make art by four rules: We are who we are, we’re doing what we’re doing, we are where we are, and the time is now. 

Rob: Simply put: we tell stories, and those stories are our own. Everything that you hear is actually happening. 

Annie: So if we tell you that we’re 

All: all trying to talk at the exact same time on a zoom recording, we’re all trying to talk at the exact same time on a zoom meeting! {beat} synchronicity! / simultaneity / synergy

Anthony laughs

Anthony: This episode, we’re listening back to some of our favorite audio experiments  from 2021.

 Music ends

Julia: Um, does anyone have any thoughts about the year or, or how this year maybe felt different from last year doing audio stuff? 

Annie: I would say. One thing about this year that was different is that each individual Neo futurist took on a bigger role in editing the first pass of their audio, which was a new set of skills for me. And it was really fun to get to learn that new skill set and play around. And it also gave me. A much deeper appreciation for Anthony and Julia and, um, Léah and all of the folks who have worked on the production side of this realizing how much nuance and intricacy there is to the sound design. And, um, it was, it was wonderful both to learn a little bit and to have a greater depth of appreciation for those in the company who are more skilled in those arenas. 

Anthony: And I, maybe with that, I was also so thrilled to kind of expand out, uh, Hit Play production team. This year. We had, uh, Hilary and Julia swapping back and forth as, uh, producers on the show. And we're now bringing on new Neo futurist, technical collaborator. Brock, um, working in that capacity as well. And there was, um, a set of two episodes that Kyra took over my sound design producer role and made some really fantastic sounding episodes. 

Hilary: Truly

Anthony: Um, Yeah, truly a treat to kind of, not a treat to not do it. It's not what I was trying to say, but it really, truly a treat to see where Kyra ran with it and being able to see this show still be and mean so much even when I'm not the one turning the knobs.

Michael I: Yeah, I think on the, on the same kind of idea, um, I really enjoyed being able to play with some of like the alumni, this Season. Uh, having Jacquelyn and Borg come in was, was really nice and hearing, hearing what sort of fun audio experiments they could bring into the fold. 

Julia: Definitely. I think another thing that's been really cool as we've been able to move back into life performing is to see the way that like, uh, these skills of, um, audio editing and also video editing that folks, I think, had to like flex some muscles and learn some things on for, uh, Cyber Wrench and Hit Play, like how those things have, um, come into the theater a lot more. And like, I think we're using a lot more like audio cues that people are messing around with themselves. And there's a lot more like video plays and that's like super cool. So it's cool to see what we've done here is now, um, kind of being translated into the theater again.

Rob: In conversation with. 

Julia: Yes! In conversation with.

Michael I: Hit Play and Cyber Wrench definitely have a presence on the Kraine stage. 

Anthony: Yeah. And you podcast listeners were here first. You who've been listening since episode one. You, you've got that special flavor if you're coming back into the theater you're coming in with- It, it adds, it adds a real special- I said flavor. I think it's a flavor. It's a nice spice  for The Hit Play / Infinite Wrench, uh, combo meal. 

Neos Giggle

Hilary: I love it!

Rob: Yeah, cause it's not, it's not just, not just skills, but sometimes plays get directly translated from one or the other, which is really fun.

Anthony: Or elements of plays come in and out. Yeah. 

Annie: In my last run, I had two plays in that I would not have made but for the skills that I learned cutting audio for hit play. So Thanks!

Julia: Cool. Yeah. I actually met some people who came to The Infinite Wrench who found out about the Neo-Futurists only from the podcast. So they had never seen the live show before, but they had found Hit Play somehow, we're fans, and then we're like, oh my gosh, we have to go to that live show, which is wild. So yeah. 

Annie: Amazing!

Julia: They were cool and it was great!

Anthony: Yeah. If you're one of those fans, who's only heard our voices. Uh, we'd love to see your faces! Come by to the theater on East Fourth Street, New York City. Friday and Saturday nights, we're doing shows! 

Annie: We have bodies!

Anthony: that also make sounds.

A Neo giggles

Rob: One thing that resonated with me, because I like to just take my phone and put on record, take the sound wherever I am. Um, and then put that into a Hit Play. Just the ridiculous changes in weather. And for one of my plays, I recorded this thunderstorm that was epic when I was in Wisconsin. And it wasn't the only epic thunderstorm that, that I've been in this year, but it was, um, just kind of documenting that change that's happening in the world is fascinating. Sonically to me, not that all the changes are Sonic. It's- it's it's of its time in a way that it can capture the snapshot. That's fascinating. Audio wise. 

Anthony: Yeah. And we were talking about this last year as best of there's something really special about at the end of the year, taking time, going back to seeing how these, the sounds of our worlds have changed throughout the past few months, how our stories have changed over the past few months, um, in a way that is really unique to this way that we make art.

Annie: I think particularly in this time, in which the passing of time has felt harder to track too, there's this sense of time, sometimes collapsing in on itself where years have passed and you don't realize it. And there's other moments in time that stretch where two weeks can feel like months and months. So I think it's also really compelling too, to go back. And just look at this past year and say, oh, that was, that was this year. All the, all these things, all these moments were this year, because because time has felt so slippery, it feels particularly, sometimes shocking, other times comforting-  I don't know, but, but definitely that, there's something more surprising about looking at the timescale of 12 months right now than maybe there was a few years ago, at least for me.

Rob: Yeah. And that for me made it so I, in looking at pieces that are plays that I wanted to do in the best of, I'm like, should I do one that I just made? Or should I look at one that was from a while back earlier in season two. And that was a conundrum for me because I'm like, well, I just did one, but let's see what happened in June.

Julia: Normally when we're done with something we have like our memories of it and maybe some photos or something. But we don't really have like, the thing in its final form just out there so often. And that's always so fascinating and to  be like, “OH, the archive is public.”

Neos mmmm in agreement

Hilary: Yeah, yeah

Rob: The archive is public. Yes

Michael I: I'm just remembering now the, uh, uh, the, the way we started this season with the, um, the look back to season one. And, uh, I remember that, that, that first meeting we had on zoom and how fun that was thinking about ways to like, take what we had done in that first year of Hit Play and bring it to the, the, the second year of Hit Play and then looking at like the same with Rob looking at the list of plays for, for this, this, uh, best of- you can really see, like, the arc of where, the things we're doing and Hit Play and how it's growing and changing, which is cool. I'm excited to see what we do next.

Hilary: Big same. I love the way that this podcast keeps us, um, growing and learning and elevating everything we do. Yeah. Speaking of the first episode of season two, we have a few plays from that episode in our Best of episode! So, let's get to ‘em.

Play 1: greens (10:03)

Julia: lime green, kelly green, forest green. greens. GO!

Audio collage of the following text bouncing from right to left. The lists of shades of green continue as underscore alongside the narrative pieces.

Rob: Forest, kelly, dark, sea foam, pine, emerald, olive, mint, lime, army, spring, grass, sage, hunter, chartreuse

So many things I have are green. It’s pretty much my favorite color. I have this old pair of boots. One of my favorite pairs.  I got them on the road. I think in California.  Pricey but I workd a discount.  They are so comfortable—were from the start.  I would say they are a muted or chalky olive green for the most part. Sadly the tread is so worn down that I can’t take them out when it’s rainy or snowy.  Too slippery. And I have found that out on multiple occasions the hard way. When I do wear them, when it's dry out, I still feel like I am heading out on the road and taking the world in.

Greg: Mint, Forest, Neon 

I have my jade plant! It ranges from a deep Forest green to a brighter shade depending on how old the leaves are. I got it about 2 months ago. I heard Jade plants were supposed to bring good luck and money into your life so I keep it on my desk in my office. It's gotten a lot taller and it's really starting to flourish. Whenever I look at it and see its growth, it makes me feel like I'm doing things right and flourishing myself. 

Kyra: Olive green, Army green, Guacamole green, Forest green, Blue-green, Vomit green

I have a massage ball that is a pale olive green. I can’t remember where I got it but I’ve had it for a good while. Sometimes when I’m playing a lot of French horn my right shoulder gets really tight and the ball is so good for working that out. Also if I lean against a wall with it on a specific part of my back, it releases tension in several surprising spots on my body. It reminds me of how complex the human body is, and the wild way things are connected in it. 

Michael: Hunter, forest, neon, turtle?, emerald, sea foam, money, olive, moss, baby diharrea?

I have a pair of green jeans I bought at a thrift store. They’re a bit tight and stretchy and I like wearing them to the Kraine when we do our show. They feel both like a costume and really comfy. I love them. And I often wear them with a red t shirt I cut the sleeves off of. 

Léah: Lime, Forest, Teal, Vermillion (or is that red?), Chartreuse (or is /that/ red?), Vert(e), ירוק, Grün, Sage, Kiwi (is that ever a color?), Khaki, Mint, Seaweed, (Why can’t I think of more?), Grass, Booger, Neon green, Spinach, (I’m really grasping at vegetables here), Cabbage, Split pea soup

I have many beloved greens but one of my favorites is my canopy of green (and blue) fairy lights. They make the room feel like underwater mermaid lagoon, they are calm and home-making. I think I got these at the 8th st party store or maybe from my recentish online haul to replace all my half dead strands from the 8th st party store. I don’t feel at home without my fairy light sprawl. First thing I decorate with, last thing I take down. Less than a year in this set up before I haul them across state lines. 

Anooj: Seafoam, Forest, Neon, Light, Dark, Iridescent, Turquoise, Blue-Green, Yellow-Green, Kermit the Frog

I have this really lovely fleece that I wear all the time. It's a foresty-green color and used to belong to a student at one of the schools I used to work in and he was throwing it away and I was like oh hold on wait a minute, and now I have this really warm, beautiful layer of clothing that's probably seen too much of the insides of New York City public schools but now gets to float around the streets of Brooklyn and see what else is there. 

Julia: lime green, kelly green, forest green, chartreuse, puke, pea green, kelp green, army green, teal, seafoam green, mint, blue-green, envy green, neon

There’s this green I like to mix with paint that’s always the first color I make. I start with yellow then add in some white, then the tiniest bit of blue at a time. It kinda makes a chartreuse green. I like colors that can really look like different shades when you put them up against other colors. This is why I also love stripes. I like this green up against a kind of bright pink or magenta-- something of a similar value so it makes my eyes buzz. 

Play 2: On going back inside to shower at night (11:22)

Rob: On going back inside to shower at night. GO!

Outdoor noises

Rob: It is going to be hot and absolute, epic and cleansing.

The shower I want is going to be cleansing, full cleansing, feel cleansing, 

cleansing to the point of purifying, 

Rings of a shower curtain scrape 

And it will take me to another place, ideally

Shower water turns on and old timey radio music underscores

Music is playing nearby or in the distance

It could be radio--maybe from another state or country.

The place I stand 

I stand to shower [I have sat a few times, but not my first choice] 

I hope is already fairly clean and clear--

not tons of spiders like in the mountain shower

or grudge like in scotland

or splinters like at the shore

or buzzy bees, snakey snakes, sluggy slugs, or

even dogs just wondering ‘Hey what is going on in there buddy, maybe I should be in there too, seriously let me in, come on you see me, I see you, you love me, love love love,  let me in, LET ME IN!’

or tons of toys or sponges or sand, 

damn sand can ruin a good shower

but sometimes you just have to get the sand off--now that's a different shower]

And sure if you want to join me you can, but that is not exactly what is expected or necessary

and probably, in most situations, you really don't want to be in there as long as i do

[if you do

then we are probably going to get married. or fight over showertime,

or at least have lots of meals together like we are married

or related]

Should I brush my teeth here?

Sometimes I do, sure, sure, not always

I have also shaved, peed, talked, puked, written 

pooped, fucked, sang, cried, called out, 

and taken a call in the shower--

and some of those events, some I hope will never happen again.

Most showers I find 

are really essential for setting or correcting the day 

I am told [did I read it or hear it?] there is something in the water

[not just wet and soap and scrubbing time and warm warmth]

the ionization, something in the water ions

[it's in the water]

to reset, reclaim, rebuild

who we are in the world

And I will go with that.

And let the waters cascade upon me [repeats 4 times]

like truth 

like tomorrow

like everything in the world--

[well, the tiny part of world that I am talking about

Now--on a day where I just showered]

depends on it.

Water turns off, Rob gets out of the shower and towels off. Music fades out. 

Play 3: A song for my visitors that they won't comprehend (15:17)

Michael: A song for my visitors that they won't comprehend. GO!

Piano begins. 

Michael: [spoken] This is a song I wrote for some visitors I’ve been having. They won’t comprehend this song because they don’t understand human speech… or like the concept of music… but maybe they’ll understand my tone. So listen close, mice. This song’s for you. Fuckers. 

Orchestrated music swell. This is a fully produced song!

Michael: [sung]

I wish you would understand

To stay off my frying pan

I don’t want to set these traps

But I’d like my kitchen back 

So get wise and run away

And live for another day.

I’m giving you all this chance

or we’ll have to dance this dance

Run away little mousies run away

Run away and get gone please run away

Run away little devils run away

Run away and get out of my life

You’re getting too smart for me

avoiding your destiny

I’ve set over 7 traps

But my kitchens still filled with craps

There’s only one thing left to do

a creature designed just for you

I’ve run all out of pity

Maybe I’ll have to get a kitty

And he’ll hunt you down and kill you

and bring your lifeless body

to the corner of my bed

as a token of his love for me

and then I’ll take your little carcass

and I’ll impale it on a pen

and display it at the doorway

as a warning for your kith and kin

to stay the fuck out of my kitchen

and stay the fuck out of my life

and to stop shitting on my cast iron pan

and stop shitting on the floor

and stop shitting on my oven

and stop shitting on my life

I really do not want to kill you

but you’re leaving me no choice

Cuz you’re shitting everywhere shitting everywhere stop shitting everywhere why are you shitting everywhere… how is there so much shit in your tiny little bodies? Stop shitting everywhere!!!!

Run away little mousies run away

Run away and get gone please run away

Run away poor devils run away

Run away and get out of my life

Get out of my life

Stop shitting on all my things, please and thank you. 

Music plays out

Play 4: Record Breaking Part I. (20:57)

Anooj: Record Breaking Part I. GO!

Michaela: Chloe Zhao just became the first Asian Woman to win Best Director. 

Underscore music sounds like beats on a cassette deck.

Anooj: In 2009, Slumdog Millionaire won Best Picture at the Oscars. I was in High School. I had a choir teacher who retired the year before and hadn’t seen me for some 13-months who upon running into me, without a greeting or “how are you” looks me straight in the eyes and goes: 

Joey: "Slumdog Millionaire was a great movie” 

Anooj: And I stared at him and he stared at me and I stared at him and he stared at me and my bottom lip dropped a little and I giggled before saying, [Music stops] “Yeah, it was.” [Music starts] And at the time I thought, hmm, can you imagine having so little to talk to somebody about and all these years later I think maybe he wanted to say much more, all to which, I may have had so, so little to say back. 

Michaela: Mia Neal and Jamika Wilson just became the first Black winners of the Best Makeup and Hairstyling Oscar Awards. 

Anooj: At the 2020 Oscars, Parasite won Best Picture. I watched it on a plane coming back from India two days before stay at home orders began. It was the first foreign language film to ever win for best picture and I wondered, had my old choir teacher watched it? I wondered if he had old students who he approached after years and said:

Joey: “Parasite was a great movie” 

Anooj: and if his students stared at him and he stared at them and if they stared at him and if he stared at them and if their bottom lips dropped a little bit and if they giggled before saying, “Yeah, it was,” and I wonder if they were just as nervous as he was about having so, so little to say to one another in response. 

Michaela: Anthony Hopkins just became the oldest nominee and winner of Best Actor. 

Anooj: There’s no record of measurements for the space between breaking records and tension those records build between you and I. And I wonder what Asian women are being asked about Chloe Zhao and what Black girls are being asked about Mia Neal and Jamika Wilson, and if older folks are being asked about Anthony Hopkins at all, and as I scroll through my phone I see images of cremation fields being set up across India, and I know deep down that if somebody slapped the logo of Slumdog Millionaire on them that a lot of people would believe it and the space between [Music stops] “Yeah, it was,” [Music starts] and not having much to say in response at all becomes more obscured than ever before. It’s record breaking, I tell you. Just record breaking. 

Music fritzes out. 

Play 5: In Which We Gear Up For Something Important! (23:43)

Michaela: In Which We Gear Up For Something Important! GO!

SciFi tone in four notes. 

Michaela: No time like the present

Joey: The  present is a time?

Hilary: Present O’clock?

Colin: Present thirty!

Anooj: PRESENTS?

SciFi tone in four notes. 

Michaela: Should we try this?

Joey: I don’t see why.

Hilary: There’s no reason

Colin: just space and time

Anooj: There’s no right

Michaela: just left and 

SciFi tone in four notes. 

Michaela: Ok are we ready to try this right now?

Joey: One second, I’m just putting on pants.

Hilary: One second, I’m just looking out my window

Colin: One second, I’m just sitting in bed.

Anooj: One second, I’m just finishing a pear. 

Anooj chews the pear. 

SciFi tone in four notes. 

Hilary: Ok maybe I should wash my hands.

Joey: We should all wash our hands.

Michaela: When was the last time you washed your hands?

Colin: 30 minutes ago.

Anooj: That’s healthy.

Michaela: Should we brush our teeth too?

All but Michaela: NO.

Ambient noise as each Neo walks to their bathroom and washes their hands. All Neos sing Happy Birthday to You to themselves as they wash their hands. 

Michaela: Now! do we feel! like we! are ready?!!

Hilary: Yes! 

Joey: Somewhat!

Colin: Yes. 

Anooj: No!

Michaela: Life doesn’t wait!

Colin: Life doesn’t pause!

Joey: Life doesn’t stop!

Hilary: Life doesn’t hold your hand!

Anooj: Life just happens to you!

Michaela: a 5, a 6, a 5-6-7-8!

Neos sing a base note in their register as a warmup and then do their best to recreate the SciFi tone in harmony. 

Play 6: i can still taste you. (25:37)

Robin: i can still taste you. GO!

Subtle orchestral underscore

Annie: It was...incredible

Kyra: eye opening

Robin: It felt so new. 

Mike: On a hot summer’s day

Greg: I couldn't get enough. 

Hilary: Generous. Generous and delicious.

Voices begin to layer and overlap

Annie: On the beach with my then-boyfriend,

Greg: I was in India

Hilary: This spot on FDR and 152,

Mike: Either North Carolina or Virginia,

Robin: JFK airport.

Annie: Salty air mingling with all those flavors. 

Kyra: It happened just this past May.

Hilary: I can’t get enough of it.

Robin: The combination of bite and tenderness, I still chase it.

Mike: I was a boy scout. I was a boy scout at boy scout camp and there was….. this peach

Hilary: Jerk Chicken

Kyra: Burrata

Robin: Salmon sashimi

Greg: Aloo tikki chaat. 

Annie: Cypress Grove Midnight Moon cheese, garlic stuffed olives, and a bottle of red wine. 

Kyra: It opened my mind to so many color palettes of flavor that I'd never thought of before.

Mike: This peach…

Greg: Sweet, savory, crispy

Hilary: Collards, curry, rice and peas, plantains, patties, oxtails- everything tasty and Jamaican. 

Mike: This incredibly tasty beautiful peach

Mike: One fucking perfect peach.

Robin: Airport salmon, can you believe it?

Mike: Peach, peach, peach, peach, peach!!

Annie: I remember feeling like every bite was better than the one before.

Mike: THIS PEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Music stops 

Annie: Mike?

Mike: Yes, Annie?

Annie: Take us there.

Underscore returns

Mike: When I was a Boy Scout I had THE BEST FUCKING PEACH. It was a hot day, the peach cold, and it was the perfect level of ripe. I miss that peach. If I could have that peach now I'd put on a shirt--one that I like but don't mind getting messy, and I'd eat it next to the water as the sun goes down. Maybe I'd plant the pit afterwards? But that could only lead to heartbreak. I can still taste you, peach. 

All: hmmmmmm

Hilary/Kyra/Annie/Robin/Greg/Mike: I can still taste you, Chicken/Burrata/Moon Cheese/Salmon/Aloo Tikka Chaat/Peach.

Mike: I can still taste you peach. 

Music fades out

Play 7: Hunger (27:39)

Hilary: Hunger. GO!

Annie: yellow/orange/red. It will be fed.

Annie: yellow/orange/red. It will be fed. yellow/orange/red. It will be fed. 

Mike:                          red.                fed                         red hot rage          

Robin:                        red.                fed                                             Deep red                        

The above repeats until noted & fades to underscore level with some percussion. 

Kyra: My hunger is like the dust that settles on you from a clay desert.

Greg: flakey, fleshy texture. burgundy vibes.

Robin: It is a chasm yet also filled with so much.

Kyra: It weighs me down and cakes my thoughts. 

Mike: Hunger used to be thorny. 

Hilary: Arresting, combative, prickly, and impatient. 

Mike: It was like a pufferfish, inflating and deflating as the mood struck.

Annie: Often it's: sharp. volatile. It wants priority.

Mike: Lately it's been more of a red-hot rage. 

Hilary: Deep. black. pit. Tastes like bitterness. I’m always fighting it. 

Mike: It demands to be fed immediately and takes a long time to realize it's been sated.

Kyra: It’s really connected to weakness for me. It negatively affects my horn playing in a really frustrating way.

Robin: My hunger sometimes feels so vast and endless that I try to ignore it. 

Greg: It's like there's quicksand in my stomach, churning in on itself until it receives sustenance

Annie: I have done extended fasting, and have discovered that while it comes in forcefully, it mellows pretty quickly if I let it know it's not in charge.

Hilary: We are somehow in a feud, I’d prefer collaboration.

Underscore ends. 

Greg: savory

Annie: forceful

Mike: thorny

Hilary: combative

Kyra: weakness

Greg: burgundy, forest

Robin: ocean, endless

Hilary: Black pit

Kyra: Clay Dust

Robin: deep red/

Mike: /red hot

Annie: yellow/orange/red. 

All: It will be fed.

Play 8: In response to the New York Times article… (29:38)

Annie: In response to the New York Times article that posed the question: “How Do I Dress for My Pandemic Belly?” GO!

Droney underscore

Robin: How do I dress the legs that took hundreds of socially distanced walks?

Annie: The elbows that leaned on the edge of my father’s hospital bed?

Anooj: The chest that held up my dog’s beautiful little face before he took his last breath?

Katie: How do I adorn the mouth that forgot kissing, then remembered, then forgot again?

Greg: The eyes that saw too much news in one sitting?

Robin: The nose that misses the smell of outside?

Katie: How do I tend to the heart that works harder than it did before?

Yael: The stomach that drops when I hear that name?

Annie: The eyes that watched smoky curls of you ascend into the sky?

Krys: How do I cherish the lungs that held breath, the breasts that held milk, the belly that held you?

Yael: How do I honor the foot that hit the gas so hard on Garth Road, the knee that hurt the whole hike down?

Greg: The legs that protested in the New York City streets?

Anooj: How do I celebrate the fist that clenched my friend’s sweatshirt as I wiped out on rollerblades? The nose that decided to wear a ring again?

Katie: The belly that saved up cushion for the unknown?

Annie: How do I admire the ears that heard the doves each morning?

Yael: The hair that sprouted one inexplicable curl?

Robin: The chest that held my cat as he slowly moved on from this life?

All [layered]: How do I 

Audio collage of various Neos saying the following words: 

Dress, Clothe, Adorn, Appreciate, savor, Bless, Tend, Worship, Thank, behold, Caress, praise, Swathe, Array, Swaddle, Snuggle, embrace, enfold, cradle, cherish, envelop, nestle, receive, welcome, accept, admire, prize, treasure, venerate, adore, applaud, commend, honor, marvel at, respect, revere, enjoy, regard, acknowledge, celebrate, recognize, support, witness, observe, decorate, ornament, drape

All: ...this body?

Yael: How do I love this body?

Music plays out 

Play 10: Yael’s Big Ugly Play. (31:42)

Yael: Yael’s Big Ugly Play. GO!

Elegant classical music underneath.

Yael: 

My name is Yael.

And I write pretty plays.

I like rhymes.

I like big words.

Ambient cinematic background music. 

But this isn’t one of Those Plays.

This one’s different.

I’m Yael, and you’re listening to My Big Ugly PLAY.

Classical music cuts to a cacophony of terrible sounds and jingles: doorbells, horns honking, farts, crying, meows, bubbling, belching, whatever. Yael speak-sings out of time to the cacophonous music. Sometimes Yael’s voice sounds like she’s talking into a can. It doesn’t sound pretty. 

This is my Big Ugly Play!

I wrote it in Comic Sans.

It doesn’t sound very good.

And that’s totally great.

This is my Big Ugly Play.

It wears Crocs and a thong.

It ate a toenail for lunch.

And soon it’s gonna eat you.

This play tastes like old milk.

It smells like cat pee and dirt.

Also this play fucked your mom.

And it’ll do it again.

Maybe next week. 

Or, whenever she’s free.

Cause this play respects your mom.

That’s how ugly it is.

Anyway, we’re getting off track–

Cacophony out, return to classical music. 

Yael: Hey Katie.

Katie (on the phone): Hey Yael.

Yael: So, I had my new Neo evaluation a little over a year ago. Do you remember what you wrote to me?

Katie (through laughter): Oh my god, no I don’t! What?

Yael: Okay, you told me that I wrote a lot of poetic plays, but you wanted to know, quote, “What does an ugly Yael play look like?”

Katie: Oh yeah! I do remember that!

Yael: What did you mean by an “ugly play”?

Katie: Um so -- I think that...Oh god, what did I mean? I think I meant that like, like all of you work um, that I had seen up until your evaluation was really like, elegant? And like, well crafted. Which I appreciated so much. I -- I, I think what I meant by “ugly” was like, harsher...and sort of like, maybe more percussive as opposed to lagato and -- and sort of smooth. I think that’s what I meant! 

Katie laughs.

Yael: Does this play feel ugly to you so far?

Katie (through laughter): Yea, it does!

Classical piano music abruptly ends and is replaced by a cheesy cheering crowd 

sound effect, which plays for a little too long before abruptly cutting out. 

Yael: This is my Big Ugly Play.

Return to cacophony. This time with more church bells and bird calls. 

I hope you want it to end.

You’ve lost (play runtime) of your life

And this play’s out for blood

So watch out. For Yael’s! Big! Ug! ly! Plaaaaaay!

Cacophonous sound abruptly cuts out.

Yael clears her throat.

Anyway. Here’s Nickelback.

Beginning of Nickleback’s ‘How You Remind Me’ plays. 

I couldn’t cut it as a wise man.

I couldn’t cut it as a poor man stealin--

The song is interrupted by a cow.

Then. Silence. 

Play 11: Why Women Aren’t Funny. (35:04)

Jacquelyn: Why Women Aren’t Funny. GO!

Jacquelyn: So a girl walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face and the girl says because we can’t get an abortion. She’s 15.

(silence)

Hey can I have some ambient din? Maybe like every now and then someone coughs or something? 

Ambient din of empty club sounds. Every now and then someone coughs. 

Thanks. 

How’s everyone doing tonight? 

Alright. 

Pause. 

Knock knock?

…

Orange.

…

Orange you glad you naturally miscarried instead of dying in childbirth?

long pause

We got Texas in the house tonight?

Mm.

Yo mama’s so big--cuz she’s past six weeks and there’s nothing she can do about it, and she’s terrified about what will happen when your daddy finds out.

long pause

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a hot air balloon, and you’re there too, so good luck not getting pregnant. 

long pause

Is this thing on?

long pause

Did you hear the one about the blonde who was so dumb he forgot to rape your friend? Phew, right? Polish people.

pause

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw in the lightbulb, and millions, millions more women, millions more men, millions beyond the binaries, have come to stand around her as she lights the room, and you’ll see her, out of the darkness, illuminated, and the rest of us are there, we’re there, to protect her, to see that you keep your hands off her, we’re the Deputies now, there’s some new deputies in town--so sue us, sue us, sue the millions of us, sue the world, sue the light, sue God, she is God, her body, right there under the light, there she is, she’s smiling, she’s laughing, she is in her body, her body, she has the light, she sees it all clearly, now we see it, you can’t see it you are small you can’t see, so just sue us, as she throws back her head and laughs with joy, her own joy, we are there, in millions, progressing forward, she is safe, she is the light, she screwed in the lightbulb, she just screwed in her own lightbulb, but we’re there, we’re there too. So watch out. There’s more of us.

Ambient summer sounds, then old timey 40s music plays, as if through a radio. 

Play 12: Brokeboi ASMR Pt. 1: Bong Resin (37:30)

Greg: Brokeboi ASMR Pt. 1: Bong Resin  GO!

Greg (whispering): Hey everyone. I’m still waiting on next week’s paycheck and I’m running low on cash so I thought it’d be a cool idea to just stay inside, bum around, and take part in some money saving brokeboi activities.

I can’t throw $40 on an eighth right now, so the first thing we’re going to be doing is scraping, and then smoking of all my bong resin.

My chosen method of weed consumption is the bong. So today, I'm gonna be focusing solely on bong resin.

Now, the first thing you’re gonna need is a bong. Preferably one with stupid amounts of resin, so that we may bear more of that precious gooey, black nectar. We’re also gonna need a lighter.

Most brokebois like myself prefer to just raw down the empty bong and let the butane do all the work, like so:

Sound of Greg hitting the bong, sounds of whistling and crackling. Exhalation.

But today we’ll be taking a more calculated approach, like the rational, sophisticated resin smokers we are.

Now, what you’re going to want to do is take the bowl of your apparatus, and a lighter, and light the inside of that bad boy until it gets nice and hot.

Sounds of lighter flicking and resin bubbling.

Next, you’re going to want to take a paperclip, or a bobby pin, and just push all the resin on the blow to the very bottom of the bowl.

Sounds of resin scraping.

Careful not to push it too far into the down stem.

Next, for maximum resin goodness, we’re gonna need to scrape the down stem, to take that paperclip and just scrape it in a circular motion. Be firm, but not too rough. You don’t want to break your downstem and waste your efforts. 

More resin scraping.

Once you’ve got a sufficient amount of stem resin on your scraping tool of choice, get another scraping tool to slide it into the bowl to avoid getting resin on your fingertips. And there we are

Sounds of scraping.

Deep inhale followed by 12 seconds of coughing.

Absolutely disgusting. But times are rough. And I managed to get dummy faded.

Play 13: Nocturnal Transmissions (40:49)

Kyra: Nocturnal Transmissions. GO!

Morse code tones underscore the text

Voice 1: So this is Mike, uh recording a message from Northern Georgian Mountains.

Voice 2: Kyra, Good morning it is 3:44am on Monday. I am recording this from the nurses station in the Neurosurgical ICU at Medical University of South Carolina in Charlston 

Voice 3: Hi Kyra, this is Jesse Wayburn, I’m  going to record this on my computer because I can

Voice 4: Hi Kyra, umm just gonna answer these questions for you real quick. My friend Ethan helped me get the levels set up here. 

Voice 3: First question, why are you awake in the middle of the night?

Voice 4: First question, why are you awake in the middle of the night? Feel free to go into detail. Ummmm, Usually when I’m up in the middle of the night there's not a particular reason.  It's never a thing that I planned to do. 

Voice 2: I am currently responsible for the medical management of a brain dead organ donor in the ICU.

Voice 1: Uh, I am wide awake around one to four o'clock every day. I have sleep apnea. My insurance does not cover a machine and all the treatments that I've looked into, I can't afford a, so I have to try alternative methods and I've tried them all. 

Voice 2: I'm about 18 and a half hours into a 24 hour shift. I am pretty exhausted. I just want to go to sleep. 

Voice 3: I wake up in the middle of the night because my body goes through cycles. Like most people with uteruses go through cycles and I tend to feel the effects of my hormones in the night.

Voice 4: Sometimes anxiety keeps me up. Sometimes procrastination keeps me up. 

Voice 1: I'm like, okay, time to myself and I'm going to use it. And before I know it It's like 3:00 AM- 4:00 AM now. And they like to say- 

Voice 2: it's a 24 hour shift, which, um, unfortunately in my opinion, is, is industry standard in organ donation world. Um, because each organ donation agency is typically responsible for a very large geographic area. Um, anytime we're switching out coordinators from one shift to the next and that sometimes requires use of a jet, um, it sometimes requires three to four hour drives on the front end, which sort of makes 12 hour shifts hard to manage. So, uh, people who work in organ donation world have been working 24s for the almost 10 years I've been in the industry and definitely beyond. 

Voice 3: The Insomnia is-

Voice 4: I like to do pushups every day. And if I haven't gotten them in yet by the time I want to go to bed- 

Voice 3: manifested in a sense of extreme discomfort 

Voice 4: Sometimes I’ll lie on the couch

Voice 3: Just really unable to get comfortable or rest

Voice 4: Or I’ll just lie on the floor because I don't quite have the energy to do them but I don't want to get into bed without doing them. 

Voice 3: Never finding the right position to lay in.

Voice 1: I do like that, it's, you know, that I'm kind of just the only one that I have to agitate during those times. That I know this time is truly my own. I'm not taking time away from work. I’m not- I'm not supposed to be working on something for them or responding to calls. I'm not taking, I'm not in the same way, other relationships in my life because I'm not calling them back or-

Voice 3: I love the time when it seems like no one else is awake

Voice 1: Seem distracted by something else. I really like time that I get to my, I get to myself where I, without these kinds of 

Voice 3: When time loses its meaning 

Voice 1: worries in the back of my head, in my head because, and I think that that is kind of why I stay up so much later a lot, because I know that once I do inevitably we go to sleep, it just puts me right back in that next day, feeling all that stress again. Where I know my focus and attention is going to be split in different ways. 

Voice 4: There aren't any distractions. Um, other than the ones we give ourselves, um, nobody else is asking for your time, unless they know you very well, at 3:00 AM. 

Voice 2: There's a lot of research that shows that staying awake for 24 hours. Um, more- as frequently as we do it is, has some pretty significant health impacts. Um, definitely. Studies looking at Alzheimer's dementia, things of that nature, but I mean, you know, you can feel it just doing it as frequently as I do. You get to about hour 16 and you hit a wall short-term memory goes, you're really a lot less able to function at the, at the higher kind of mental capacity that you want to, I know you probably hear all these nurses like cracking up behind me having a good time. Um, they're on twelves. So most of them slept today. I feel like I want to die right now. 

Voice 4: Um, if anything, I just generally wished that more, that more things that I kind of rely on or working on my schedule. 

Voice 1: I work early in the morning. 

Voice 3: So much more than my body will let me 

Voice 1: That’s why I usually wake up and talk to them turn or, 

Voice 5: and there's something I really like about the morning too. You know, I really like 5:00 AM, no matter how I get there, if I stay up all night to get there, or if I go to bed early and wake up at five, there are a lot of trees on my street in Brooklyn. And if I stay up till five, I’ll start seeing the sunlight, hitting the street again, as the sun comes up. And hear the dawn chorus- all the bird from those trees singing to each other as they wake up. 

Voice 2: It's a lot quieter. When you step out of the hospital to take a break, it's dark, it's just quieter. I am realizing, as I've said, quiet, 15 times in this recording, how much that, uh, is meaningful to me. I like when things are just a little slowed down, I suppose. 

Voice 3: And the solitude is for late night and early morning. Really, I just like solitude. 

Voice 4: Yeah. I don't think I want to be a morning person, but I kind of do wish the rest of that the rest of the world was a night world

Show Outro

electronic instrumental music plays underneath.

Julia: Thanks for hitting play and then listening to Hit Play. 

Michael I: If you liked what you heard, subscribe to the show, tell a friend, and leave a review on your listening app of choice! 

Rob: We’d love to hear from you - leave us a voicemail, come on do it, at ‪(646) 820-4733. 

Annie: If you want to support the New York Neo-Futurists in other ways, consider making a donation at nynf.org, or by joining our Patreon - Patreon dot com slash NYNF. 

Anthony: Our logo was designed by Gabriel Drozdov and our sound is designed by me--Anthony Sertel Dean. (whispered)That’s me.

Hilary: Take care!

Julia: Bye! I think we cal all do a bye!

All:  Bye!/ Bye-Bye! /See ya! /Happy New Year 

Rob: That was all of us right?

Julia: Yes.

Music ends