Jake Banasiewicz
Hey, I’m Jake. Who am I? Well, I would say that I’m…Honestly, it’s really funny that you ask that, because I’m definitely someone who, I’m more like, or less like; okay, so to put it simply, if I could only describe myself in three words, I would choose the following three words that I will let you know at the end of this sentence. Darn, the sentence ended and I forgot to say the three words I would use to describe myself. Forgive me, I’ll tell you right now: Actually, hold on, sorry, can I think about it some more or do you need to know right now? You’re in a hurry, okay, great, got it. That’s honestly better because I work better (or maybe is it worse?) under pressure. That burns a building down, splits a family in two, puts people on the streets. Woah, sorry I don’t know why I just said that. What was I saying? Oh right, who I am. I am definitely or maybe I’m not. I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately and I’ve kind of realized that I am. But more importantly, that I am definitely not. Okay, fine, I’m @. Woah, what was that? I’m ~~. Sorry, I think my computer is malfunctioning. I’m )//%(#!,,,,””””””;{{LL0097HELPOHDEARGODHELPME777776666^^^%4356&<:”||||=+-+%%%%%%323?????///”:”PP{[]]]]]]%%HAILSATANGWYNETHPALTROWHAILSATANGWYNETHPALTROWHAILSATANGWYNETHPALTROWHAILSATANGWYNETHPALTROWHAILSATANGWYNETHPALTROWHAILSATANGWYNETHPALTROW(((&*&*&*&*&WOWOWOWOWOW=__*)).
Hmph, that doesn’t look good. You know what, let me get back to you. Wanna grab lunch next Tuesday?
Wait, I can’t do Tuesday.
