Katharine Heller
In 11th grade Economics class, Katharine’s teacher gave the students a super serious assignment to prepare them for the Real World™. They were to write a thesis paper which required them to conduct in-depth research, three expert interviews, and compose 10 pages of critical analysis. One of Katharine’s interviewees refused to talk beyond 5 questions, but she made it work and submitted the full assignment.
The teacher gave her a C+ because she only had 2 and 1/2 interviews. Katharine was frustrated but the teacher said, “REAL. WORLD.”
The next semester he gave them an even more Real-Wordier© of The Real Worldiest® assignments. This thesis paper also required extensive research and interviews, but this time, 20 pages of analysis.
17 year old Katharine, now running very low on f#$ks, fabricated the entire thing. She made up research numbers and statistics, a 20 page analysis of said untruths, and wrote three contrasting “interviews” full of dialogue rich with conflict, intrigue and dynamic suspense. One of the “interviewees” even stormed out of the “interview” after a two hour existential crisis when Katharine pressed him on his relationship with his father.
The teacher gave her an A+ and praised her for days.
That’s when Katharine learned this very important Real World life lesson: maybe she should write more fiction.
She has never told this story until now.
(Tonight’s performance is dedicated to Dr. Maskin)
